Adventures of Humphrey

December 24, 2025 Lille

Christmas Eve – Surprise French Edition

Bonjour, loyal readers! You will *never* guess what happened. The hoomans only went and surprised me with a **Christmas trip to France**. At Christmas! Honestly, I *knew* they’d been acting suspicious all week—far too quiet, far too organised. Very

untrustworthy behaviour.

Being the seasoned world-travel connoisseur that I am, I strutted through pet reception at Le Shuttle like an absolute professional. No nerves. No fuss. Passport ready. Tail high. I barely even acknowledged the other dogs—amateurs.

We arrived in a **city** (ugh… when will they learn?), and it was *freezing*. So cold I genuinely thought my paws might drop clean off. Thankfully, it wasn’t too busy, and we made our way—*lugging all of my belongings*—from the car park up to our fifth-floor French apartment. The spare hooman was disappointed there were no Christmas decorations. I told her to stop whining. There were **two sofas**. One of them was in the bedroom. Decision made. Dog sofa heaven achieved.

I kindly took the hoomans for a quick festive stroll around the city so they could admire the Christmas lights (and so I could prove how brave I am in the cold). After that ordeal, we sensibly retreated back to the apartment. Then—humiliation. Matching Christmas pyjamas. *Matching*. I strongly suspect this was the spare hooman’s idea. The hoomans drank wine (as if they needed Christmas as an excuse), while I enjoyed some fresh air because apparently I’m “too young” to drink. Rude.

We all snuggled up to watch a Christmas movie. Mum and I fell asleep before the end—clearly the most sensible members of the household. Travel is exhausting when you’re this important.

I slept on the sofa in their room—absolutely no chance I was sleeping anywhere else after the *summer fiasco*. And in true Humphrey fashion, I guarded the apartment diligently from **2:30am to 3:30am**. You’re welcome, everyone. Mum shouted at me and said it was probably *Santa Paws*. Well then, he was making an awful lot of noise and he’d better be bringing me *lots* of toys.

Honestly, the hoomans are so ungrateful.