Adventures of Humphrey

September 06, 2025

**My Big Adventure – Day 8: Black Forest**

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A Slow Start

I was *so* tired from yesterday’s adventures that I didn’t stir until 6:50am. You’re welcome, hoomans. After my morning business outside, I flopped straight back onto the sofa for a second

nap—groggy but dignified.

The hoomans ate breakfast, and Dad announced today would be “a lazy day.” About time! I’m used to long walks, sure, but also to fourteen glorious hours of beauty sleep. Here I’ve been forced to constantly entertain them. *Holiday?* Doesn’t feel like it. *Work contract?* More like it.

At least the sun was out: bright blue skies, crisp mountain air. Still no German Shorthaired Pointers though. You’d think I’d meet some of my long-lost cousins here, in the homeland! But maybe it’s for the best—after all, I *am* the best-looking GSP in the Black Forest.

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The Giant Cuckoo

First stop looked suspiciously like a coffee shop (shocker). But no! It was actually a shop with the *world’s largest cuckoo clock.* A big wooden thing with little wooden people that popped out and played music. Strange creatures.

We posed for photos, then went inside. It was full of smaller cuckoo clocks and delicate ornaments—tail-wag hazard central. I had to be on my best behaviour. The shop assistant came over to fuss me, which of course I allowed. Mum bought some souvenirs, and we escaped without me knocking over a thousand euros’ worth of clocks.

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Another Waterfall

Next: another giant water bowl (apparently “Germany’s tallest waterfall”). Lovely, except you couldn’t drink from it. Bummer. Lots of tourists and dogs cluttering the path.

Halfway up, I spotted a proper forest trail. I tugged my hoomans that way, ignoring the boring tourist route. The spare hooman moaned about her trainers and sore heel, but I was firm. Forests over foot comfort—always.

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Ice Cream

Back in town, Dad bought the biggest ice cream I’ve ever seen. Did he share? NO. Mum had apple pie. Did I get a bite? Also NO. Outrageous. They really don’t understand that sharing is caring.

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The Dreaded Lake Incident

The drive after was stunning—rolling meadows, dark forests, cows and giant doggos (horses). I admired it all from the back seat instead of snoozing. Little did I know treachery was ahead.

We stopped at a massive lake. I thought we’d walk around it. Instead, the hoomans undressed and put on weird outfits (swimwear). Spare Hooman waded straight in. Madwoman. Dad joined her. Even worse.

Then they called me. *Into the water.* My paws touched the edge—it was freezing. Absolutely not. But Dad went further in, and I panicked. I splashed desperately, trying to reach him. Germans on the shore laughed at me flailing. LAUGHED. At a drowning dog! My hoomans insisted I “could swim.” Lies. Lies and betrayal.

After half an hour of this nonsense, they finally came back. I was wet,

cold, and traumatised. I fetched a stick to lure Dad out. Honestly, parents are meant to keep you safe, not try to drown you.

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Oktoberfest Madness

Just when I thought the day couldn’t get weirder, we ended up at a *street party.* People in funny outfits, loud music, strange dancing. Spare Hooman was even dressed like them! Apparently this was “Oktoberfest.”

It was chaos. A rude lady shouted when I brushed her leg trying to get through the crowd. Chill, lady—I’m just trying not to get stomped. Then a Chihuahua snapped at me. Honestly, the small dogs here are insufferable. Luckily, a few nice ones restored my faith.

Later, the hoomans had Spanish tapas for dinner (in Germany—don’t ask). Wasps everywhere, harassing Spare Hooman and me. No food for me, of course. Typical.

We popped back to Oktoberfest afterwards. Everyone said hello to me (naturally—I’m kind of a big deal). The music was thumping, the energy was wild. Must be my German roots, because I loved it. Didn’t want to leave, but the hoomans dragged me back.

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Closing Thoughts

It was our last night at the Heidi House. I curled up, exhausted but secretly sad. I’ll miss the towering trees, the waterfalls, even the cows (from a safe distance). Tomorrow: Switzerland. Spare Hooman says it will be her 40th country. Apparently this is a big deal. I’ll act impressed, even though she doesn’t deserve it after the attempted drowning.

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Best & Worst Bits

**Best Bit of the Day:** Strutting through Oktoberfest like a celebrity.
**Worst Bit of the Day:** Nearly drowning in that lake while everyone laughed.

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**Ongoing Grievances:**

* Still banned from the bed.
* Still no ice cream.
* Wasps everywhere.
* My hoomans are trying to kill me.