Adventures of Humphrey

13 June, 2026

Buongiorno readers,

I have excellent news to report.

The toe is feeling much better.

At last.

The Great Toenail Tragedy of 2026 may finally be behind us.

This morning we packed up our belongings and checked out of the agriboutique. Naturally, I supervised the entire operation.

Before leaving, we headed for breakfast where I encountered my nemesis one final time.

Louis.

That tiny dog with the enormous attitude.

The second he spotted me, he barked.

Again.

Honestly, readers, I don’t know what his problem is.

Then it was finally time to hit the road.

And when I say “hit the road,” I mean spend approximately seventeen years in the car.

What a boring day.

We drove.

And drove.

And drove some more.

The hoomans stopped for chargers.
The hoomans drank coffee.
The hoomans discussed routes.

I slept.

Occasionally I opened one eye to check whether we’d arrived.

We had not.

So I went back to sleep.

Eventually, after what felt like crossing the entire planet, we arrived in a place called Cortina.

Readers…

The Dolomites are AMAZING.

Huge jagged mountains towered above us in every direction.

Now this is my kind of scenery.

Forests.

Mountains.

Fresh air.

Adventure.

I could practically smell tomorrow’s hikes.

We checked into our new apartment and I immediately conducted the most important inspection.

Sofa assessment.

Not one sofa.

TWO sofas.

I nearly fainted.

Clearly one sofa is for me.

The second sofa can be shared between the hoomans if they’re lucky.

After settling in, we visited the supermarket before heading out for dinner.

The waiter thought I was wonderful, which is always a sign of good judgement.

After dinner we returned to the apartment for an early night.

Tomorrow promised mountains, hiking and adventure.

Finally.

Travel day complete.

The sofa and I had a very important reunion before bed.

Good night readers.

Tomorrow, the Dolomites await.

Day 16 – Cortina adventures

14 June, 2026

Buongiorno readers,

The hoomans claim I woke them up early.

I prefer to think of it as excellent time management.

At precisely 5:10am I was awake and ready for adventure.

The mountains weren’t going to explore themselves.

Unfortunately Mum disagreed and told me to go back to bed.

Can you imagine?

So I returned to the sofa and waited impatiently until 6am when the hoomans finally got themselves organised.

We jumped into the car and headed into the mountains.

Now I knew it was going to be a serious hiking day.

The excitement levels were very high.

Sadly, so were the humiliation levels.

Because we had to take a bus.

And that meant…

The muzzle.

The dreaded face contraption.

I slunk away in protest.

The hoomans remained unmoved.

Before I knew it, I was squashed into a crowded bus footwell wearing the muzzle and contemplating all the poor decisions that had led me to this moment.

Thankfully the journey was short.

The second we stepped off the bus and my dignity was restored, I forgot all about it.

Because WOW.

Mountains everywhere.

Towering peaks.

Blue skies.

Fresh mountain air.

Absolute perfection.

Our first hike was to a viewpoint called Cadini di Misurina.

When we arrived, there was a huge queue of people waiting their turn to walk out onto a narrow rocky viewpoint.

There were also lots of strange flying machines buzzing overhead.

Apparently they’re called drones.

Personally, I think they’re just very annoying metal pigeons.

We waited.

And waited.

And waited some more.

I made my feelings known through several dramatic sighs and a bit of whining.

Nobody seemed interested in speeding up.

Eventually it was our turn.

Readers, I absolutely owned that viewpoint.

I strutted down the narrow path like I was walking a fashion runway in Milan.

People moved aside.

Cameras appeared.

Photos were taken.

I posed professionally.

The crowd loved it.

Then the hoomans dropped another surprise.

Apparently we were doing a SECOND hike.

Best day ever

Off we went to tackle the famous Tre Cime circuit.

Six and a half miles of mountain trails, rocky paths, dramatic scenery and endless adventure.

I was in heaven.

Whenever the trail got steep, I simply dragged Dad uphill behind me.

The spare hooman puffed and panted her way up the slopes while I bounded ahead with endless enthusiasm.The mountain air was glorious.

The smells were incredible.

And then…

SNOW.

In June!

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

Naturally I launched myself straight into it.

The cool snow felt amazing after hiking in the sunshine.

I zoomed.

I played.

I cooled my paws.

Honestly, I would have stayed all afternoon.

The entire hike was spectacular.

Every corner revealed another incredible view.

Every passer-by admired me.

Every photo captured my best side.

It was perfection.

Eventually, however, even I began to feel tired.

My paws ached.

The hoomans’ legs hurt.

Everyone was exhausted.

When we finally reached the bus stop, I collapsed onto the cool ground like a furry puddle.

Unfortunately the return bus was even busier than the first.

I was wedged between feet, bags and legs while dreaming of sofas.

Beautiful, glorious sofas.

Eventually we made it back to the apartment.

I launched myself onto my sofa and stretched every limb in every direction.

At last.

Comfort.

Peace.

Recovery.

Or so I thought.

Because then the hoomans announced we were going back out.

For dinner.

Readers, I genuinely think they’re trying to kill me.

I had already climbed mountains.

Walked nearly nine miles.

Posed for countless photographs.

And survived two bus journeys.

Surely that was enough?

Apparently not.

So I bravely soldiered on.

We wandered into town for dinner before finally returning home.

The moment we got back, I climbed onto the sofa, stretched out across the spare hooman and refused to move.

That was my spot for the rest of the evening.

No negotiations.

No compromises.

No further adventures.

The hoomans watched television while I drifted off dreaming about mountains, snow and hiking trails.

Tomorrow, hopefully, there will be more adventures.

But first…

The sofa.

**Buona notte!**

**Humphrey x**
*Professional Mountain Dog, Part-Time Model and Full-Time Sofa Enthusiast*