Adventures of Humphrey

16 June, 2026

Guten Tag readers,

Well, last night was a disaster. An absolute catastrophe. It was far too warm and I simply could not get comfortable. I circled my bed approximately 4,372 times trying to locate the perfect sleeping position. Every time I settled, I got too hot. Every time I moved, I got annoyed.

At one point around 3am I decided enough was enough and attempted to begin the day early. The hoomans strongly disagreed.

Apparently.

Dad was particularly unimpressed.

This morning the alarm went off at the completely unreasonable hour of 5am because we had a seven-hour drive ahead of us to somewhere called Nuremberg. Seven hours! That’s practically a lifetime in dog years.

The hoomans packed up the apartment while I supervised from a strategic location, then we hit the road. I have to admit, after my terrible night’s sleep I spent most of the journey unconscious. I woke briefly at charging stops to inspect the facilities, accept treats and make sure nobody had forgotten me, then promptly returned to my duties as Chief Sleeping Officer.

Eventually we arrived in Nuremberg.

Now, regular readers will know that cities are generally not my thing. Give me mountains, forests and rivers any day. However, I was pleasantly surprised by our new accommodation. It was spacious, comfortable and, most importantly…

**TWO SOFAS.**

TWO.

I could scarcely believe my eyes.

Naturally Mum immediately started panicking about muddy paws and sofa covers.

“Don’t you dare get on that sofa until the covers are on.”

Honestly. We’ve been travelling together for ages now. Does she think this is my first sofa?

Once the covers were installed, I conducted a thorough inspection and approved both seating options.

Then it was time to explore.

Thankfully there was a lovely park nearby where I could stretch my legs after spending most of the day in the car. Things were looking promising until Dad announced we were doing one of his famous walking tours.

Readers…

You know how I feel about Dad’s walking tours.

They’re basically history lessons with extra steps.

First stop was the castle. I wasn’t allowed into the museum. Fair enough. Then I wasn’t allowed into the gardens either.

The gardens!

The one part I might actually have enjoyed!

What a waste of perfectly good sniffing opportunities.

To make matters worse, while sitting at a café afterwards I met a lovely Boxer. We immediately established that we could have become excellent friends. Unfortunately the hoomans refused to let us play despite my repeated and enthusiastic requests.

Very unfair.

We continued around the city. Dad stopped at a pretty old street and began reading facts.

Lots of facts.

Thankfully a friendly Labrador appeared and completely interrupted his presentation. Finally, someone with priorities.

Next we reached the market square, which was much more interesting. There were pigeons everywhere. So many of them.

A proper attraction.

The hoomans seemed fascinated by churches and old buildings while I focused on the important cultural highlights: birds.

Eventually we made our way back to the apartment where I immediately exploded into a fit of zoomies. After spending most of the day asleep in the car, I suddenly had enough energy to power a small village.

My teddy and I conducted several high-speed laps around the apartment while the hoomans looked increasingly concerned.

Apparently they were exhausted.

Honestly, amateurs.

To avoid further chaos they took me out for an early dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant beside the apartment. I behaved impeccably, naturally, and charmed everyone within a five-metre radius.

Once we got back, however, I finally admitted defeat.

I launched myself onto the sofa, stretched out dramatically and crashed harder than Mum after a wine tasting.

Turns out all those mountains, hikes, forests, vineyards, goats, dogs, gelato shops and adventures over the last few weeks have finally caught up with me.

Tomorrow is another day.

Although if Dad mentions another walking tour, I may have to stage a protest.

Wish me luck.

**Humphrey 🐾**