Adventures of Humphrey

07 September 2026

Hello again, fellow readers!

Well, last night was absolutely blissful.

The hotel was so quiet that I slept all the way through the night until the hoomans’ alarm went off at 6:15am.

Frankly, this is how mornings should be.

No strange noises.

No midnight security incidents.

No one needing me to protect them.

Just uninterrupted beauty sleep.

Unfortunately, the alarm meant it was time to get up, so I supervised the pack-up operation, made sure nobody forgot anything important — especially me — and we checked out.

Then we headed off to somewhere called Lüneburg Heath.

Now, readers, this place was rather lovely.

It was a beautiful forested walk and the hoomans kept stopping to admire the purple grass, which they informed me was called heath.

Personally, I thought it was just grass that had been showing off.

Still, it was very pretty.

Unfortunately, there was one major problem.

I COULDN’T GO OFF LEAD.

Apparently there was too much wildlife around, and the hoomans didn’t trust me not to go charging off after something furry, feathery or generally interesting.

So I had to stay attached to my bungee lead.

Rude.

Still, it was a very long walk, and the smells were absolutely incredible. There was so much to investigate that I almost forgot I was being unfairly restrained.

I met loads of lovely doggos, some more big dogs — the ones with the funny wooden carts again — and lots of nice hoomans.

Naturally, I also had to pose for photographs.

A handsome international travelling superstar has to keep his portfolio updated.

There were sticks everywhere too, so I was able to collect several important specimens along the way.

I had the BEST time.

The sun was shining, it was warm, the scenery was gorgeous and I spent the entire walk enthusiastically pulling Dad around.

I’m not sure why he looked tired afterwards.

I was simply providing him with some much-needed exercise.

When we finally got back to the car, I climbed in and immediately entered a power coma.

Out.

Gone.

Completely punctured.

Which was probably just as well because we had another four-hour drive ahead of us.

And this time…

We were going to a NEW COUNTRY.

🇩🇰 DENMARK! 🇩🇰

Another country to add to my collection!

I slept through a good chunk of the journey and only woke up when we stopped at a charging station.

The hoomans went off for their usual coffee fix while I took advantage of the glorious sunshine and sunbathed on the pavement.

Honestly, I’m becoming rather good at this holiday lifestyle.

Unfortunately, the second half of the journey took approximately four hundred years.

There was traffic.

There were roadworks.

There were more roadworks.

And then, just when we thought we were getting somewhere…

More traffic.

I was beginning to wonder if Denmark actually existed.

Eventually, though, we arrived at our destination in Silkeborg.

And readers…

I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR WHAT I SAW.

We are staying at something called the Sculpture House.

And it is AMAZING.

It has its very own FOREST.

My own forest.

My personal wilderness.

My kingdom.

I leapt out of the car and immediately charged around like a furry missile.

There were sticks EVERYWHERE.

I was in dog heaven.

I sprinted.

I zoomed.

I found sticks.

I leapt off enormous mounds.

I ran some more.

Mum was shouting things about me going to break a leg.

I chose not to listen.

I was busy being magnificent.

Eventually the hoomans insisted I come inside.

The inside was acceptable, I suppose.

There are two sofas.

Huge round windows.

Very nice.

But honestly?

I wanted to be OUTSIDE.

In the wild.

Mum said I had gone feral.

I prefer the term fully embracing my Danish surroundings.

I was so excited I was practically hyperventilating.

Eventually the hoomans managed to entice me into the car again so we could go and get dinner.

They got burgers.

We had to sit outside because dogs weren’t allowed inside.

Bummer.

When we got back to the house, Dad took me off for another little exploration through the woods.

Because obviously one forest adventure was not enough.

Eventually we came back and I convinced the spare hooman to come outside and sit on the swing chair with me.

This took some persuasion because apparently she is allergic to mosquitoes.

Honestly, always with the excuses.

But I convinced her.

And in my professional opinion, it was completely worth it.

The hoomans had a beer while I roamed around exploring my new kingdom.

Eventually they called me back.

I returned, received a treat outside — as I should — and we played fetch.

I was having a wonderful evening.

Naturally, the hoomans eventually ruined it by dragging me back inside.

Dad lit the wood burner, which was rather cosy, and after my dinner I suddenly realised something…

I was absolutely shattered.

All that running.

All that adrenaline.

All those sticks.

All that being fabulous.

It takes a lot out of a dog.

Oh, and I almost forgot to tell you something VERY important, readers.

There is NO IDIOT BOX.

And there is something called WiFi, which apparently we also don’t have.

Which means…

I HAVE 100% HOOMAN ATTENTION FOR THE NEXT THREE DAYS.

This could be excellent.

No distractions.

No television.

No internet.

Just Humphrey.

Three days of being admired, supervised, entertained and generally treated like the international VIP that I am.

I have a feeling I am going to enjoy Denmark very much.

For now, though, I am sleepy and extremely excited to see what tomorrow brings.

Hopefully more forest.

More sticks.

More zoomies.

And perhaps some off-lead freedom.

Goodnight, readers.

Humphrey x 🐾🇩🇰