Adventures of Humphrey

08 September 2026.

Hello again, fellow readers!

Well, last night was absolutely **blissful**.

We all slept like logs, and for once I decided to let the hoomans have a respectable amount of sleep.

Until **7:30am**.

Then I woke them.

Dad took me outside and…

**I LOST MY MIND.**

The zoomies took over.

Completely.

Utterly.

There was no stopping me.

I sprinted around like a furry tornado with absolutely no steering mechanism whatsoever. Dad eventually managed to coax me back inside, where I decided I had probably done enough exercise for one morning and went straight back to bed.

Obviously.

After a very long-overdue lazy morning, we eventually headed out.

We went into town and stopped for lunch.

Well…

**THEY** had lunch.

I watched.

Apparently watching someone eat is considered a perfectly acceptable lunch for a dog.

I disagree.

But then something happened that completely made up for it.

The hoomans took me to my **FIRST EVER DOG FOREST**.

Readers…

**IT WAS INCREDIBLE.**

This was everything a dog forest should be.

Dense trees.

Paths covered in leaves.

Steep hills.

Sticks.

Smells.

And, most importantly…

**OFF-LEAD SPRINTING.**

Without a care in the world.

No hooman shouting, *”Humphrey, come back! There’s a road!”*

No worrying about traffic.

No bungee lead.

Just fenced forest, endless paths and other dogs to play with.

**PURE DOG HEAVEN.**

I met two beautiful **Bavarian Mountain Hounds**, and one of them was immediately up for a game of chase and wrestle.

Obviously, I obliged.

It’s important to be sociable when travelling internationally.

Then, completely out of nowhere, a retriever appeared.

And off we went.

Charging through the forest together like two lunatics.

We were having the BEST time.

He also had a little dog with him.

Now, as regular readers know, I usually give little dogs a wide berth because they can be rather…

**snappy.**

But this little lady was lovely and friendly, so I decided she could join the gang.

The hoomans stood chatting away while we concentrated on the important business of running around the forest at maximum speed.

Eventually it was time to say goodbye.

Dad and I had a little game of fetch, because obviously I hadn’t done enough running yet, and then we headed back to the house.

I sprinted around some more.

Because apparently I hadn’t quite reached my daily quota.

And then…

**COLLAPSE.**

Straight onto the sofa.

I had gone HARD.

I took a short nap to recover from my extremely strenuous morning of being fabulous.

Then Dad announced that we were going to see the lake nearby.

It’s called **Lake Thørso**.

Now, I was cautiously optimistic.

I’ve been around lakes before.

The hoomans have a habit of pretending everything is perfectly safe and then taking me places that I absolutely do not want to go near.

We walked down towards the lake and eventually reached a wooden walkway.

Dad suggested we walk across it.

I took one step onto it.

It wobbled.

I stopped.

**Absolutely not.**

Readers, they have tried this sort of trick before.

I began to panic.

Why is the ground moving?

Why are the hoomans doing this?

Why can’t we just stay on solid earth like sensible creatures?

Fortunately, a man came along to go swimming, which gave me the perfect excuse to turn around and head straight back to the safety of the little beach.

**PHEW.**

That was a close one.

I have absolutely no intention of becoming a swimming dog.

By now it had started drizzling, so we headed back to the house.

By about **5:30pm**, I was absolutely exhausted.

Surely that meant I could have a nice peaceful evening?

Apparently not.

The hoomans had the **AUDACITY** to drag me back out again for dinner.

Honestly.

I had already run through an entire forest.

I’d wrestled.

I’d chased.

I’d fetched.

I’d done emergency lake avoidance.

What more did they want from me?

By the time we were driving home, I felt completely **punch drunk**.

The spare hooman said that’s what happens when you start your day like a tornado.

I don’t see the problem.

I call it enthusiasm.

As soon as we got back, I sprinted into the house and made myself comfortable on the upstairs sofa.

The hoomans settled downstairs in front of the fire.

But I had important recovery work to do.

I needed to stretch out.

I needed to snooze.

And frankly, I needed some **me time** after the exhausting experience of being this energetic and handsome.

What a day.

A proper dog forest.

Lovely doggos.

Off-lead running.

Chasing.

Wrestling.

Sticks.

And absolutely no roads to worry about.

I think it’s safe to say…

**DENMARK IS CURRENTLY 10/10.**

If tomorrow is anything like today, I may never want to leave.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a sofa to sleep on.

**Goodnight, fellow readers.**

**Humphrey x** 🐾🇩🇰