Adventures of Humphrey

09 September 2026

Hello again, readers!

Well, I was having a lovely peaceful sleep last night when, at approximately 4:30am, I heard what could only possibly have been intruders.

Naturally, I sprang into action.

I barked loudly to alert the hoomans to the imminent danger.

And what did I get for my bravery?

“Humphrey, shhh! Go back to sleep.”

Honestly.

SO UNGRATEFUL.

I was protecting their lives and they were more concerned about their beauty sleep.

As the sun came up, I decided it was time to get the day started and tried to get the hoomans out of bed at 7:30am.

They wouldn’t budge.

Seriously, how lazy can you be?

You would think they were on holiday.

Excuse me, hoomans — this is MY holiday and I have a schedule to maintain.

Eventually, at around 9am, they finally emerged.

Dad took me outside and I immediately got busy doing important dog business.

Then he tried to bring me back inside.

I refused.

I was having far too much fun.

Eventually he managed to coax me indoors, where the hoomans had breakfast.

And that’s when the morning descended into complete calamity.

You see, this house has an outdoor shower.

Dad had used it yesterday and apparently it was lovely and warm.

Mum had sensibly used the indoor bath.

Today, however, Mum needed to wash her hair, so she had no choice but to use the outdoor shower.

She wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about this plan.

Dad reassured her.

“It’s lovely and warm.”

The taps were turned on.

And…

NO HOT WATER.

None.

Nada.

Absolutely freezing.

The sun was shining through the trees, but it was only about 14°C outside.

Mum shouted.

She fiddled with the taps.

She turned them on and off.

She tried again.

Still freezing.

Eventually she grabbed her towel and ran inside.

I watched this whole thing unfold with great interest.

She waited a while.

Then tried again.

This time…

EVEN COLDER.

So she had to bite the bullet and have a completely freezing cold shower outside.

Readers…

It was hilarious.

There she was, shivering away under the shower while I watched from a safe, warm location.

Perhaps the intruders had stolen the hot water!

Maybe now they understand how I feel when the hoomans decide to wash me outside.

I’ve never seen Mum wash her hair so quickly.

She absolutely charged back into the house faster than lightning.

Then it was Dad’s turn.

He discovered the water was still absolutely icy.

He had his shower anyway, and afterwards they quickly got dressed and contacted the owner to find out what on earth was going on.

Personally, I think the whole incident was excellent entertainment.

Eventually we headed out.

Our first stop was some castle ruins.

Dad immediately launched into a history lesson.

Apparently it’s Denmark’s oldest medieval paved road and the castle was built in the early 14th century by some King Erik.

He continued talking.

And talking.

And talking.

I eventually switched off.

Sorry, Dad.

But there were birds.

And water.

And sand.

And cows.

And, most importantly…

COW PATS.

Much more relevant information.

If any of you want to know more about the castle, Google it.

I had sniffing to do.

We wandered around and made our way up towards the ruins, but there were cows everywhere.

Now, readers, I have already explained my feelings about large animals.

They are scary.

So I stayed very close to Dad.

No need to take unnecessary risks.

After our little adventure, we drove to a quaint town called Ebeltoft.

The hoomans had lunch while I did what I do best…

Sunbathed and got admired by passers-by.

It’s exhausting being this handsome.

We wandered around the shops afterwards and then Dad got an ice cream.

And, finally…

I GOT SOME.

YUM.

A very small amount, but I’ll take it.

Dad is clearly becoming more generous.

We then headed back to the car and drove to our next destination…

ANOTHER DOG FOREST.

Now this one was a little smaller than yesterday’s, and unfortunately there were no other doggos around.

Very disappointing.

However…

There were STICKS.

So many sticks.

I was straight into stick heaven.

Dad and I had a fantastic long game of fetch and I made sure to inspect every available stick thoroughly.

Eventually we had to head back to the house.

Then I heard the dreaded word…

LAKE.

Instant panic.

I was already preparing myself for another wobbly wooden walkway situation.

Fortunately, the hoomans decided that by the time we got back it would be too late to go to the lake.

LUCKY ESCAPE.

I love Denmark, but I remain firmly opposed to surprise water activities.

Back at the house, Dad did something very peculiar.

He started a fire inside a giant round wooden tub.

A hot tub, apparently.

Very strange.

Then Dad went out in the car while the spare hooman and I played fetch.

When he returned, the spare hooman made dinner while Dad and I relaxed in the garden with a beer.

Well, he had the beer.

I supervised.

We had dinner alfresco, which was lovely, and then headed back inside.

There was also something called a CD player, so Mum put some music on and the hoomans settled down for a relaxing evening.

And then things got REALLY weird.

The hoomans started putting on strange clothes.

Bathing suits.

Then they disappeared outside into the darkness.

And they wouldn’t let me come.

Apparently it was cold and I wouldn’t like it.

Excuse me?

They were going outside to sit in the giant water bowl and I wasn’t invited?

They climbed into the hot tub and eventually came back inside absolutely soaking wet.

I have to say…

Very odd behaviour.

I decided not to get involved.

Dad lit the fire, I curled up on the sofa and finally settled down after another very long and exciting day.

Tomorrow we’re heading off to a new place.

I’m already feeling a little sad about leaving this house.

I’ve really enjoyed my little Danish forest kingdom.

The forests.

The sticks.

The doggos.

The sofas.

The freedom.

The ridiculous hoomans.

It’s been a very good few days.

But I’m an international dog of adventure, so onwards we go!

Goodnight, readers.

Humphrey x 🐾🇩🇰