Adventures of Humphrey

10 September 2026

Hello again, fellow readers!

Well, this morning the hoomans were up early.

Dad let me outside to do my business and then had the **absolute audacity** to get annoyed because I didn’t come straight back inside.

Excuse me, Dad?

Have you not been paying attention?

This place is **far too exciting** to simply pee and immediately return indoors.

I need to charge around like a complete lunatic.

I have forests to sniff.

Grass to investigate.

Sticks to locate.

Important dog business does not simply finish after one wee.

Eventually, when I had completed my morning patrol, I came back inside and the **packing commenced**.

Now, there was one rather important detail…

**NO SHOWERS.**

The water is STILL broken.

So the hoomans have officially reached the **stinky holiday stage**.

I’m not complaining.

It makes me feel considerably better about all the times they’ve washed me outside.

I supervised the entire packing operation, naturally, and also supervised the spare hooman while she hoovered and cleaned.

Someone has to make sure standards are maintained.

Once everything was packed, we headed into town for breakfast before setting off towards **Lake Almindsø**.

And readers…

It was beautiful.

We did a lovely hike around the lake, although unfortunately I wasn’t allowed off lead.

Apparently there was too much wildlife again.

**Spoil sports.**

Still, I was allowed to play fetch with sticks in the lake.

Now, this presented a slight technical problem.

The sticks kept **SINKING**.

I would spot one.

Go after it.

Try to pick it up.

It would disappear.

And I don’t particularly like getting my face wet.

So I developed a sophisticated retrieval technique.

Find one stick.

Give up.

Find another stick.

Repeat.

Eventually I was going pretty deep into the water and, before long…

I was **SOAKED.**

Completely drenched.

I climbed back into the car and spent ages shivering.

I couldn’t feel my paws.

I couldn’t feel my ears.

I was basically a very handsome, very wet ice cube.

Eventually feeling returned to my extremities and we continued our journey.

After another long drive, we stopped at a lovely little Danish town called **Middelfart**.

And what a charming place it was.

We stopped for coffee and cheesecake — the hoomans’ favourite hobbies — and something wonderful happened.

The lovely lady from the shop brought me **biscuits**!

Readers…

**I HAD A NEW FRIEND.**

Finally, someone who understands VIP service.

Why don’t I receive this treatment everywhere?

Biscuits should be standard practice for travelling pedigree superstars.

I feel this needs to become an international policy.

After my unexpected celebrity treatment, we headed off to our next accommodation.

And this place is rather special.

It’s a holiday house with **SEA VIEWS**.

It has a massive **L-shaped sofa**, which I have already mentally reserved for my evening snoozing.

And…

**A HUGE GARDEN.**

Obviously, I immediately availed myself of it.

There was running.

There was fetching.

There was general charging about.

Basically, I was living my best life.

Naturally, the hoomans eventually ruined it.

They dragged me down to see the sea.

Yes, readers…

Another **ENORMOUS SALTY WATER BOWL**.

I looked at it.

They looked at me.

I looked back at the water.Then I asked the obvious question…

**Can we play fetch again?**

No.

Apparently not.

Instead, the next thing I knew, I was being dragged out to dinner.

At least they had chosen a rather swanky restaurant with outdoor seating.

Thankfully, it was covered and had a heater.

**The heater was immediately required.**

I insisted it stayed on because, frankly, I had already spent enough time today being wet and cold.

I settled down nice and cosy while the hoomans had their dinner.

Another day of international dining.

Another day of Humphrey supervising.

After dinner we headed back to our new digs.

And readers…

I was **DOG TIRED**.

I stretched out my weary paws across the enormous comfy sofa and finally relaxed.

As I drifted off, I found myself dreaming about the forest.

The trees.

The sticks.

The zoomies.

The doggos.

Those glorious off-lead adventures.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Whatever it is, I hope it involves less driving, more running and warm indoor showers for the hoomans.

For now, I’m off to sleep.

**Goodnight, readers.**

**Humphrey x** 🐾🇩🇰