Adventures of Humphrey

13 September 2026

The Day of the Escalators, Pigeons & One Very Disappointing Mermaid

Hello again, fellow readers!

Well, today started rather civilised.

We headed to a café for breakfast, which was a lovely way to begin the day before setting off to explore **Copenhagen** properly.

Our first adventure was the **metro**.

Now, readers, I have travelled on boats, buses, ferries and been dragged through metro stations with stairs…

But nobody had warned me about the **SCARY ESCALATORS**.

I tried my very best to negotiate the first one.

It was not my finest moment.

There was hesitation.

There was confusion.

There may have been some very undignified manoeuvring.

And what did the hoomans do?

**THEY LAUGHED AND TOOK VIDEOS.**

Absolutely cruel.

I am a distinguished international traveller and this is how I’m treated.

The actual metro, however, was surprisingly easy.

It was quiet and peaceful, and I handled the escalator much better on the way up.

So that’s progress.

I may even become an escalator professional by the end of the trip.

We arrived at the **Citadel**, which I was expecting to be some sort of impressive military fortress.

Instead…

It was basically **another enormous park**.

Complete with a **windmill**.

A windmill!

Honestly, Copenhagen really does seem to be one gigantic park with random interesting things hidden inside it.

I sniffed around, posed for some photographs and then we headed onwards.

And readers, I wasn’t joking yesterday…

**COPENHAGEN REALLY IS ONE BIG GIANT PARK.**

We walked from park to park, through endless green spaces.

Trees.

Grass.

Paths.

Smells.

Wildlife.

I absolutely loved it.

The hoomans, however, decided it was time for another visit to **Joe & The Juice**.

Their new obsession.

I was beginning to think this time I might finally get some juice.

But no.

**STILL NO JUICE FOR HUMPHREY.**

False advertising.

After the juice, we went to a dog park. Now, readers, when I say dog park, I mean a tiny little dog park. Nothing like the magnificent dog forests we’ve been discovering in Denmark. This was basically a small patch of ground with a fence around it. I was not impressed.

A lady came in with her dog, which obviously got my attention. We went over to say hello, but then she said her dog was in season. Whatever that means. Before I had even had a chance to properly investigate or, more importantly, play, she whipped her straight back out of the park.

WHAT THE ACTUAL?! 😳

Dad let me have a little sniff around anyway, but then decided it was time to go. Spoil sport.

We carried on and came across a castle and then a sculpture that seemed to have attracted approximately **every tourist in Copenhagen**.

Apparently it was called **The Little Mermaid**.

Readers…

I was **completely underwhelmed**.

Everyone was standing around taking photographs of this little statue.

It wasn’t even doing anything.

It was just sitting there.

With…

**A PIGEON ON ITS HEAD.**

Now THAT was interesting.

Frankly, I found the pigeon considerably more entertaining than the mermaid.

Eventually we escaped the crowds and walked some more until we reached a very busy area called **Nyhavn**.

The hoomans tried to get me to pose for photographs.

I declined.

There were far too many hoomans around and I wasn’t in the mood for being a tourist attraction.

I’m already famous enough.

We headed towards a food truck area, which was also absolutely packed.

The hoomans got some very tasty-looking food.

And, naturally…

**I GOT NOTHING.**

Again.

I feel like my contributions to this holiday are being seriously undervalued.

Then it started to rain.

So we took shelter until the shower passed, and once the weather improved we headed towards **Christianshavn**.

We walked along the harbour and I was very grateful for the quieter streets.

Although there was one rather strange little character who seemed determined to follow us.

A **pug**.

He kept appearing behind us.

The hoomans stopped for coffee and, somehow, the little chap appeared in the courtyard too.

Very suspicious.

Eventually he scampered off.

Strange little guy.

After the hoomans had consumed yet more coffee, we continued walking towards the metro.

And, of course…

**MORE ESCALATORS.**

I swear they’re doing this on purpose now.

How many escalators does one dog have to endure on holiday?

Still, I was becoming something of an expert.

We eventually arrived at the **Meatpacking District** and found a nice spot for a beer called **War Pigs**.

Strange name.

By this point, readers, we had walked **MILES**.

I had sniffed approximately the entire city of Copenhagen.

My paws were getting tired.

So I settled down and did one of my favourite activities…

**People watching.**

There were plenty of interesting characters to observe while the hoomans enjoyed their drinks.

Eventually it was time to head back.

One last metro journey.

One last terrifying challenge.

**The escalator.**

And this time…

I absolutely **NAILED IT**.

Up I went like a professional.

No hesitation.

No panic.

No drama.

I was practically showing the hoomans how it was done.

We popped out of the metro right at our hotel and I was relieved to see the end of our sightseeing marathon.

We had a little rest in the room before heading out for dinner.

And, finally…

**BURGERS.**

A very good choice by the hoomans.

Although, naturally, I still feel I should have received a larger share of the culinary experience.

After dinner we returned to the hotel lobby, where I found a lovely rug.

I lay down.

Closed my eyes.

And that was it.

**OUT LIKE A LIGHT.**

I had walked miles.

Explored parks.

Sniffed Copenhagen.

Survived terrifying escalators.

Avoided hordes of tourists.

Inspected a pigeon.

Met a mysterious pug.

And endured another day without Joe & The Juice actually giving me any juice.

It’s been exhausting being an international superstar.

But I have to admit…

Copenhagen has been a **surprisingly brilliant city**.

Mostly because it has so many enormous parks.

Tomorrow we head onwards again, so I’d better get some sleep.

Who knows what adventure awaits?

Hopefully fewer escalators.

More sticks.

And perhaps, just perhaps…

**some food for Humphrey.**

**Goodnight, readers.**

**Humphrey x** 🐾🇩🇰