Adventures of Humphrey

18 September 2026

Well readers, **today was an adventure.**

I woke up fresh as a daisy and, thankfully, the spare hooman took me out to the park at the end of the street for my morning constitutionals.

While we were there, a lovely Golden Retriever appeared.

**No owner in sight.**

Obviously, I made friends immediately. We were just getting ready for what I hoped would be an excellent play session when, suddenly, his owner appeared and off he went.

Rude.

I barely had time to introduce myself!

The hoomans then decided we should walk all the way across the city for breakfast. When we arrived at the cafe, I discovered it was **SOOOO cramped**.

We had to sit at the window seats and I was completely squished in.

Not exactly five-star seating for a dog of my stature.

After breakfast, the **strangest thing happened**.

We went into a shop, and then the hoomans were shown a load of bikes.

One of them had a very strange **wooden box** attached to the front.

Dad tossed me inside.

I assumed they just wanted a photo, so I sat there for a few minutes, looking handsome, then hopped out.

Dad lifted me back in.

**”Stay.”**

I was like…

**WHAT THE FLIP IS HAPPENING?!** 😳

The spare hooman hopped onto a normal bike, while he wheeled me along to a quiet street.

Then Dad climbed on his bike and started cycling.

Readers…

**IT WAS VERY WOBBLY.**

The bike nearly fell over.

I genuinely thought:

**”This is how I die.”**

Thankfully, Dad managed to right the bike and off we went.

For approximately five minutes.

Then I jumped out.

Poor Dad had to stop, put me back in the box and tell me to stay.

Eventually, we were zipping through the city like we’d been doing this our whole lives.

And I have to admit…

**I quite liked it.**

I had a fantastic little wooden box with a front-row seat to Haarlem. I could see everything, smell everything and watch all the hoomans going about their business.

Our first stop was **Molen De Adriaan**, a windmill.

Then we zipped across to a city gate called **Amsterdamse Poort**.

But then came the stop I was VERY excited about.

**A PARK.**

When we arrived, there were some funny-looking animals there.

Not scary.

Just… different.

The hoomans said they were **deer**.

They seemed very friendly, so naturally I stuck my nose up against the fence for a closer inspection.

Then Dad said something that made my ears immediately perk up.

**The whole park was OFF LEAD.**

I thought I’d misheard him.

But no!

The first doggo I met was an **11-month-old GSP**, who was just as excitable as me.

Obviously, we had a quick wrestle.

Then we headed into the park.

And readers…

**I WAS OFF LEAD!**

I met so many lovely dogs who wanted to play, and we did a big loop around the park.

Absolute bliss.

Eventually, however, it was time to get back into **the stupid box**.

Back on the bike we went.

We stopped at the brewery we’d visited on our first night, where the hoomans had a small beverage and some cake.

None for me, naturally.

I don’t know why I even bother asking anymore.

Then we set off on a **long cycle**.

Dad announced that we were heading to the beach.

**THE BEACH!**

Readers, I haven’t been to the beach in ages, so I was extremely excited.

As we got closer, I got a little overexcited and, unfortunately, forgot myself.

I **jumped out of the box again**.

Poor Dad had to slam on the brakes and did a very good job of stopping without running over my paws.

Eventually, we made it to the beach in the National Park at **Bloemendaal aan Zee hondenstrand**.

We walked down and I couldn’t believe my eyes.

There were loads of **kite surfers** doing incredible stunts out on the water.

Very impressive.

But then I spotted something even better.

A section of the beach where **DOGS WERE ALLOWED OFF LEAD!**

I was beside myself with excitement.

I was unleashed and immediately **charged around like the furry missile I am**.

I wrestled with other dogs.

I sprinted.

I sniffed.

I generally had the time of my life.

And then…

**BIRDS.**

🐦🐦🐦

Readers, you know what happens next.

I locked and loaded.

**FURRY MISSILE: ACTIVATED.**

I charged after them.

They were sitting there at the water’s edge, practically **asking to be chased**.

How could I possibly ignore such an invitation?!

I was having the absolute time of my life when, in the distance, I could hear the hoomans calling me.

It sounded like a tiny whisper.

I stopped chasing the birds and suddenly realised…

**I HAD NO IDEA WHERE THE HOOMANS WERE.**

Uh oh.

I ran left.

Then right.

Then left again.

Eventually I got close enough to spot them and ran over to be reunited.

Dad immediately put me back on the lead.

Apparently, I am **”not to be trusted around birds.”**

Excuse me, Dad?!

They literally just sit there at the water’s edge **asking to be chased**.

I’m hardly going to ignore them.

Eventually Dad let me off for one final brief run before it was time to get back into the box.

And I have to admit…

I rather enjoyed the cycle back.

The wind blowing through my ears.

The smells.

The people watching.

And Dad huffing and puffing as he cycled up and down all the hills. 😂

I had the **best people-watching seat in town**.

Eventually, after negotiating our way through the city centre, we made it back to the rental place.

Afterwards, we stopped at a cafe for a well-earned break and a drink for the hoomans, then walked back to the hotel.

By this point, readers, **I was absolutely shattered**.

The adventure had well and truly tired me out.

The hoomans were pretty stinky too, although I think that’s because they had cycled **16 miles today**.

They went off for showers while I supervised from a comfortable position.

Then we headed out for dinner at a lovely Thai restaurant.

And once again…

**I WAS ALLOWED INSIDE!**

I really do love how accommodating the Dutch are. They clearly understand that dogs are important members of society.

After dinner, we chilled out in the hotel lobby before heading upstairs for bed.

And readers…

**What a day.**

What an adventure.

A bike ride through Haarlem, a dog park, a windmill, a city gate, a beach, kite surfers, loads of doggos, some extremely chaseable birds and **16 miles of cycling**.

I think it was the perfect finale to our trip.

Tomorrow night we’re getting the boat from Rotterdam back to Hull, followed by the boring drive back to Stranraer.

Before that, though, we’re going to potter around town until about 2pm.

The spare hooman has already mentioned **a church and a market**.

Oh dear.

I will keep you updated.

For now, I’m off to dream about today’s crazy adventures.

Hopefully my dreams contain the beach.

And the dog park.

And perhaps a few pigeons.

**Goodnight, readers. Humphrey x 🐾🚲🇳🇱**